don’t marry the wrong person!

Take a look at this graph:

The average American spends 3 hours per day with his/her partner.
Which only increases when we get older.

What if most of this time is spent in conflict with your girlfriend, boyfriend, husband or wife?

I mean, I was often in conflict in my previous relationship.

And looking back at it, I could have avoided all of the struggles by simply UNDERSTANDING how a beautiful relationship comes to life.

I might get a lot of hate for this.
But as Andre Gide famously said:

“It is better to be hated for what you are
Than to be loved for what you are not.”

And the key to beautiful relationships might be the total opposite of what you think.

By the way if you're new here, I am Jordan, 23 yrs old, did over $4M in Revenue, Hired over 50 people and dedicate my time to understand the truth about my own life.

As I like to say: 

“To understand myself is to understand humanity”

So I write every day to understand my life better.
And maybe through reading my work, you understand yours better too.

So here it is…
Probably the most controversial belief about how to have a peaceful, loving relationship.

Money, S*x, Beauty, Honesty, Trust, Communication and Love won't matter in your relationship if you pay the price of ‘COMPROMISE’ instead.

You may read that again.

Because I have been TAUGHT to make compromises.
I have been conditioned to believe compromising is good.

By my friends.
By my parents.
By my teachers.
By my (romantic and business) partners.

I started to see that all the traditional "rules" for relationships seem completely wrong.

Effective relationships are extremely rare.
Don’t believe me.
Just look around you.
How many people have no conflict in their relationship?

Now your mind starts to speak, if I may assume…
Something like:

“It’s impossible to have a relationship without conflict, without arguing, without irritations, and so on”

It’s up to you if you decide to believe this voice.
The same voice who tells you to eat chips and watch Netflix.

Could it be that the most successful couples do this one counterintuitive thing?
That they do NOT make compromises…

That in order for there to be true peace in a relationship, there must be complete freedom from anything.

Including freedom from the NEED of the other person.

Now your mind comes in again:

But if each person just pursues total freedom without any compromise, wouldn't that inevitably lead to conflict?

If I don't compromise on what I want…
And my partner doesn't either…
Won't that just lead to a battle of two clashing desires?

Well, let’s look at those desires.
What are they?
Are they true desires?
In true I mean internal, genuine desires.
Or are they external, reactive desires?
Or better said, simply pleasures?

Could it be that IF BOTH the lady and the man find out what they TRULY desire, that they ACTUALLY desire the same?

That if they only had the focus to look inwards to find what it is that they actually want, they both want the same? And thus compromise would naturally not exist?

Think about it…

How many people know what they want?
Do you know what you really want?
Crystal clear?
Honestly?

You have been so conditioned to focus on external things that you have to dig so deep, remove so many layers to find the internal root of what YOU want.

If you have two people who are serious about finding this out for themselves.
Then they may see that they don’t NEED each other for the thing they desire.

Then what is there left?
What is there left if you both don’t need each other?

What about each other’s presence?
What’s more beautiful in life than 2 serious human beings who DON’T NEED each other?

2 peaceful creatures who can converse about the truth of life?
2 people who have found joy within themselves, which leaves nothing but joy around them?

What is more beautiful than this, my friend?

May you find this beauty in life.
May you never settle for less.

Here’s my poem about the essence of this letter.

The Path of real Love (a Poem)

4 hours a day we're side by side,
Spending time with our partner, soon to be bride.
But not without pain, conflict and irritations, right?

We're taught to meet in the middle, to make a concession,
But don’t you see this only makes for more aggression?

How can our joy be multiplied?
How can true peace not be denied?
NOT lust and pleasures with blind compromising.
But within ourselves, truly recognizing.

Two souls who have inward peace perfected,
So you are not constantly reacting, no longer distracted.

The couples who truly understand,
Don't compromise, they set themselves free.
And for the first time, maybe it’s real love they finally see.

You may leave with a feeling of finally ‘knowing’ what you want in a relationship, marriage, and above all true love.

How you can spend all of this time in joy instead of conflict, pain, and irritation.

The words may ‘hit’ you as unmistakably true.
Know that it is not because I am so clever. It’s not because of me.
But because of your desire to know.

And if you desire to know the truth in a specific situation in your life, but can't seem to find it. Feel free to reply ([email protected]).

No, I won’t ask for money. I do it, because sometimes it helps me understand more about my own life.

Talk soon
Jordan