how does it feel to die?

“I'm not afraid of death;
I just don't want to be there when it happens.”

~ Woody Allen

Why do we feel afraid to die?

Is it because I fear the image that I see when I hear the word ‘death’?

Or is it because I fear the ‘end’?

The ending of everything.

Let’s dive into it.

What is effective?

To not feel afraid of death?

Or to never think about death again?

Or to feel good when you hear death?

None of the above.

To find out what is effective we have to understand some things first…

But before we do.

DISCLAIMER: I am a conditioned individual like you. 

I am not ‘better’ than you. 

I have not understood the intricacies of my mind yet. 

I may have made some realizations that are absolutely true. 

But never ‘believe’ me. 

As beliefs will always be beliefs. 

And the serious person wants to KNOW for himself, not believe for the rest of his life.

So what is true about death?

That we are not dying right now.

We live.

But it is ‘thought’ that creates the fear of death, isn’t it?

That thought is the difference between reality,
And what is going to happen in the future.

“Life is pleasant.
Death is peaceful.
It's the transition that's troublesome.”

~ Isaac Asimov

Your thoughts are always old.

You see?

Because the moment you recognize your thoughts, it is already old.

So instead of being afraid of death, 

Aren't we afraid of the thoughts about death?

Afraid of this inner voice that we listen to (without permission)?

Because if you die EXACTLY right now, you have no fear, right? You would be gone...

But IF you knew it would take another minute, you are thinking about the future.

And these very thoughts about the future create fear, isn't it?

So the way to not feel fear is to have a mind that lives completely in line with reality.

But how is this possible?

That's my question.

Because my mind is constantly occupied with something.

Constantly talking.

Even saying 'Hey put some music on' when there is some silence.

This is probably why there is music in every restaurant, gym, and car…

Why is this?

Why is my mind constantly trying to be occupied instead of simply being?

Are we afraid of the emptiness that is?

Am I afraid to REALLY look at my fears?

And are there such things as multiple fears?

Or is there only 'fear'?

What I am trying to say is, am I afraid of death AND afraid of heights?

Or am I just afraid? Not afraid 'of anything'.

That there is only 1 fear, which is fear?

If so, how can we observe ourselves completely in this moment?

Why do we want this, you may ask?

Because if we can, we can see the truth behind our fear.

Because being in this moment, there is no thought.

And as mentioned earlier, it is our thoughts that create fear.
It is thought that makes us think about the future or our memories, which are either old or have not happened BUT above all: not true.

Do you see this?

If you don’t maybe this example will help.

Is it true are in pain right now?
Or is it thought that makes you think back to a time when you felt pain?

So my question: can you watch your fear with an empty mind?

Not a mind that projects images of past funerals you attended.

Not a mind that tells you about the imaginary pain of how it feels like to die.

Not a single thought, but a human being with full NEW observation?

Like if you saw yourself for the first time.

You CAN.

But it requires utter silence.

Not outside.

I’m not talking about the cars and people outside.

But inside.

It is not easy, because as you know, without focus, your mind talks to you all day.

Only when you are aware of this inner voice you can start to get closer to pure observation.

So without giving you a method, the first step is to become aware of all this talking of the mind.

And when you do, you may start to see that you have separated yourself.

There is space between you and the fear of death.

While in fact you ARE fear.

This is the truth: you are fear.

What is not true: I feel afraid and I must get rid of it.

When you can truly see this, you have realized that you can't get rid of fear. 

Because YOU are fear. 

And it is a waste of precious energy to CREATE conflict between 'being fear' and the idea of 'you should not feel fearful'.

And you DO have control over this creation process.

By examining for yourself HOW your mind is creating fear.

So will you examine it?

It brings me to death itself.

What is death?

Is it a complete ending of every memory and thought about the future and the past?

An end to memories of the good old times and an end to the worries of Tomorrow's bills?

Is this death?

I would not speak the truth if I said I knew.

But let's assume it is.

That death is the end of everything that is 'thought'.

If you could experience this 'ending' WHILE you live, would you want it?

With that I mean, you did not have memories of the past nor thoughts about the future.

“The fear of death follows from the fear of life.
A man who LIVES FULLY is prepared to die at any time.”

~ Mark Twain

You are not attached to your laptop, phone, car, house, 'stuff'.

You are not attached to your mother, father, sister, brother, partner, children and so on.

This state of mind where there is no fear or happiness, for this is all created by thought.
I am asking if we can END this.

To live in the same house as what you call ‘your family’ or ‘my children’, but seeing the reality: that you are a human amongst other humans in a house that one day will disappear.

To be on the funeral of the people you live with on a daily basis, and not feel any emotion.

That is what I am talking about.

To die while you live.

So you can finally live.

To have a fresh mind even though you live in an old body.

To see clearly, for the rest of your life.

To end all that is not true.

To end all that is created by thoughts.

BUT HOW!?

Doesn't this require an extreme amount of focus? Effort?

I have a question for you:

Do you care about your life?

If your car breaks out in fire, does it take focus or hard work to run out of your car?

No right? Because you CARE about the continuing of your existence.

In the same way, you can CARE about looking at yourself.

Do you understand what I mean?

So for instance:

You feel bored. 

But you do not think "I should not feel bored, I have to become successful, I can't be bored, bla bla bla"

But to look what you are: BORED, without feeling bad nor good about it.

Without remembering a video titled: 'boredom is good for you'.

Without remembering your father telling you: 'you cannot be bored if you want to be succesful'.

But to simply look at your boredom.

Because you care about the examination of boredom.

How do you ‘create’ this caring, if you don’t care already, you may ask…

Well, you do not create it.

It’s already within you.

It’s all about finding out what you want.

If you want to continue to live the way you do, then this is the truth.

I am not judging you. Nor should you judge yourself for it.

Because it is simply the truth.

But IF you desire to not live your days mostly filled with negative emotions, that is: irritation, stress, fear, pain, pressure, and so on.

Then you may start to LOOK at all these emotions, for every time when you find the truth in them, they starve.

To start living in a state of no memory.

Or better said:

To die to everything you ‘KNOW’.

Including your family.

I know, this may hit you.

To see the truth of this thing we call ‘family’ is something very, very few people are willing to do.

Because if they are not your family, then you have died to the idea that they are.

Then you know what it means to die, right?

When you die, there is no more thought.

No more illusions.

And where there are no illusions, there is only reality.

When you do not ‘know’ anything any longer, you have died mentally and can finally start living.

So the question remains:

“Am I willing to let go of everything I know, to finally live?”

Talk soon.
Jordan

PS: here’s my poem about the essence of it all.

To live with death (a poem)

Caught in thoughts, we live in fear,

Of death, of loss, of what's not here.

But in this instant, there is no dread,

No past,
No future,
Just life right now,

Outside our head…

The art of being, beauty I find,

An open heart, a quiet mind.

In that stillness, peace I find.

To live with death, no longer blind.